Families Change
Parent Guide to Separation & Divorce

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What shouldn’t I say?

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  • Do not tell the children how angry or frustrated you might be.
  • Do not give too many details about why you have decided to separate or divorce.
  • Do not blame the other parent.
  • Do not make promises you can’t keep or give children false hope that you’ll get back together.
  • Do not overload children with too much information. Save discussions about moving, changing schools, lifestyle changes, etc. for another time, if possible. Older children may bring these things up, but if you haven’t made these decisions yet, only speak about them in general.
  • Do not tell your children to keep the separation or divorce a secret. They will need support from their friends and extended family. If you are not ready for others outside the immediate family to know, then this is not the time to tell the children either.